The first time I heard this song I think I was still half asleep; I registered what it was but I couldn't have hummed it back afterwards. The second time I heard it I was driving to Nottingham and it made me cry. I kind of feel as if Kanye West is a person who I really know because he has let me read his diary since I was about fifteen and I am so glad that people realise how amazing he is at making music and using words. I'm really proud that he has gotten to a point where he is able to create all the things he wants and I am as happy for him becoming a father as I would be for someone who is an actual real-life friend. I haven't got a baby and my mama is still alive and kicking but the sentiment of this song went in through my ears, travelled right through me, and made water fall out of my eyes as if it were my own emotion.
Kayleigh came round on Saturday because she asked me what I was doing and I said I was going to dye my hair and move my room around. The day before I had accidentally bought a massive bag of carrots so I said it would be helpful if she wanted to have a carrot-based meal. She scoffed at this but then suggested how great it would be if I had some coriander so that we could make carrot and coriander soup. I HAD ALSO RECENTLY ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT A MASSIVE BAG OF CORIANDER! If that doesn't convince you of the presence of a benevolent, omnipotent deity then I don''t know what will. it was delicious and I had fun trying to describe a handheld stick-type blender.
fun fact: when we were in college we nicknamed a small boy a few years below 'Crouton' because of this crimp. One day he kissed Kayleigh on the mouth unexpectedly and made her late for English Lit.
I liked Whiplash; I don't know if it is a film about pursuing a passion or a film about perfecting a skill or a film about teaching or a film about drums or a film about being single on purpose or a film about having a quarter-life crisis; I suspect it aimed to be all of these things.
I liked the main character because although he was vulnerable he wasn't totally 'oh I'm just a poor stoop kid' and he wasn't even an underdog because he was so talented. I enjoyed how normal his face was and my favourite part was when he mouthed 'fuck you' near the end, because that teacher was a (well-intentioned) control freak (with arguably risky counter-productive methods) and it is good for people like that to be knocked speechless every once in a while.
Sunday I got up, did a cake, made bacon sandwiches, went out into the wilderness which is so close to my house that it makes me giddy and amazed every time I go back around the wide blank paths which are so familiar to me. But there is always a different way to turn and a new sunset to see. Every time I catch the sun blinking through trees or glowing onto reeds I want to take a photo. But then all my photos look the same and they still are only a memento of the sights forever stored in my MIND PALACE and the happiness which is saved for a rainy day (literally)
Also here is maybe a portal into another dimension? Like I'm not being funny but: